The world will be celebrating International Woman’s Day 2009 and there are still a million women crying alone or still smiling with hidden hurt and pain. Domestic abuse is a reality which many women cannot fathom their feelings and begin living in guilt or perhaps blame themselves for the destiny they are facing.
My sister was 25 years when she married a professor. She herself was one of the most favorite teachers of her time. She had good looks, brains and the most eligible lady of the town. She was the first Girls Guide leader. She looked stunning on the day of her marriage, confidant yet shy, she surely that day broke many a hearts because she was good at refusing them which she did gracefully and tactfully. Her marriage to a Professor was the end of all that glamour and shine. She was a strong woman; she hid all the abuse she had being going through from the first night itself. She had three beautiful children who were all silent witnesses to the domestic crimes they were being nurtured into. I remember seeing her scars and when my parents questioned her about them, she would make up stories of being accidentally hurt. Being an excellent sportswoman, we all easily believed in her. Her fears came in the open when her children started to learn how to speak. My sister who had unblemished and glowing skin was all scarred and each scar had a different story to tell. She was being battered every night by her husband; most of the violence grew because of the silence she kept. She herself was her only consoler and she was under some strong Christian belief she grew up into, that God knows the best.
I was the youngest in my family of nine brothers and sisters; she was the eldest and the smartest of the lot. She had been more of a mother to me than an elder sister. She always took me along wherever she would go, and I’d follow her like a little lamb. I still remember her taking me for a ride, I was twelve then and her children were 3, 5 and 7 years. I asked her why is she going through so much pain, and her answer was that God was testing her. I felt terrified for that moment, does God want us to suffer and the answer from deep within came out loudly was NO. God does not want us to suffer; He does not want us to be in pain and to get all those weird thought from her head, that what is going on will be right in some time.
“Then what people will say if I leave my husband,” she asked. “Do they feel your pain, your hurt or are they helping you, so why do you want to listen to people anyway”. That day I still remember I on my own would never have the guts to talk like the way I was talking. And I told her that she must leave her husband’s house and she can take care of her children herself, and mom, dad and all the brothers and sisters would help only if she could leave her husband alone. That night she ran away from her husband’s house with two children and the eldest one she left behind, and she joined us at my parents place. Later her eldest son also ran away from his father’s house to live with his mother.
She started living her life all over again. We all contributed towards helping looking after the children and I loved my sister being back at home. She started working as a teacher again and her confidence levels grew as she saw her children growing up in a healthy and safe environment. When she moved out to live in her own house, I too left with her, I loved living with her and I still love to be her little lamb.
Her eldest son expired at a very young age of a heart attack, her beautiful daughter who grew up on borrowed clothes, shoes, books is now working as a hostess for an airline company and the little black sheep who was called, “Kalia” for his dark looks has now grown tall, dark and a very handsome Pilot. Her husband is living with his mother and when there is no one to abuse in the house except his mother. The poor old lady I heard was once pushed off the terrace and he has not been able to change even after so many years of separation, being a famous professor or even his retirement he continues being the same.
Many rounds at the Police Stations would treat her case as a family problem, so they could not do anything much but they did make a lot of fun of these situations. I know of many such woman thinking the cops will be of help and guard them only dig a deeper wound. Many woman victims end up getting more abused than ever and return back with the thought of that a known devil is better than an unknown devil. The nights are not dark any more but more evil. Where does the woman go? Few priests have denounced the facts that they are spiritual counselors end up splashing theirs lusts on the victimized woman. Now the woman has to deal with the so called holy man as well as her husband, father, relative or a close family friend. Woman can sometimes make it even worse than what the man has already made it but treat themselves to another gossip story to boast about. A psychiatrist can list his medical bills and make you a life time patient all for the cause of service to humanity. A marriage councilor is working on the Governmental Statistics for dysfunctional families.
When I went through the same trauma my sister went through, I had already prepared myself never to look for help from these quarters. I relied on my sister or brother for their help but my husband was too smart he almost got them believing in him. I remember singing in all the times when I was being tried by my husband, family and friends, “How Great Thou Art,” and in all the misery from being victimized to being the accused I would sing the song even more profoundly. Even in my darkest moments, I sang more loudly. I would ask the Lord to show me the way, just when I was going to give it all up, my children, my husband and everything, I got signs, messages, and symbols very clearly and boldly “Jesus is the way,” all through the journey to reconcile with my own family.
Today, we are living together, but the heavenly father did not leave us alone, He sent us angels in the form of Pastor Pappu Thilak and Liny his lovely wife to accept Christ as our Savior, and the day we accepted our family life to be led and guided more spiritually. In a very brief period, our families got closer to each other. We hardly got to know them we had to leave for another city and I was happy that the family was together but I had serious hidden fears. The fear of being alone again, my haunting memories, and a falling spirit. And I received another message, “The Lord is my shepherd.” This song kept coming into my head like a stuck record, another prayer meeting an elder was reading the same thing, “The Good Shepherd,” and I did still not understand the message. The other day I opened my mail box and I had an received an email titled, “The Shepherd,” these messages were getting stronger and stronger till I opened the Bible, read Psalm 23, it made me ponder on my own life and a confirmed message like as if He was not just consoling me but convincing me.
A psalm of David.
I asked the Lord for help, to be my guide and there is no better guide than He
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
I asked the Lord to establish a place for me in my family,
And a place to be restful
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters,
When I was fighting a losing battle, He showed me ways that I could walk, the U-turn I took back home in His name made my paths clear.
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I would reach home, my enemies will never spare me, help me to face the people that once made me suffer to cope with them and to give me strength. Lord in my weakness be with me.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
I have no strength to face any more turmoil, or hardships, or suffering, I have had more pain than what I could have, and I can’t take it any more. Lord free me from all the mental stress and agony and set my spirit free
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
When I asked the Lord, “How long I have suffered, will this happiness be short lived?” and as you will read in verse 6.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Surely, we have a truly great God and how great Thou art?
My sister was 25 years when she married a professor. She herself was one of the most favorite teachers of her time. She had good looks, brains and the most eligible lady of the town. She was the first Girls Guide leader. She looked stunning on the day of her marriage, confidant yet shy, she surely that day broke many a hearts because she was good at refusing them which she did gracefully and tactfully. Her marriage to a Professor was the end of all that glamour and shine. She was a strong woman; she hid all the abuse she had being going through from the first night itself. She had three beautiful children who were all silent witnesses to the domestic crimes they were being nurtured into. I remember seeing her scars and when my parents questioned her about them, she would make up stories of being accidentally hurt. Being an excellent sportswoman, we all easily believed in her. Her fears came in the open when her children started to learn how to speak. My sister who had unblemished and glowing skin was all scarred and each scar had a different story to tell. She was being battered every night by her husband; most of the violence grew because of the silence she kept. She herself was her only consoler and she was under some strong Christian belief she grew up into, that God knows the best.
I was the youngest in my family of nine brothers and sisters; she was the eldest and the smartest of the lot. She had been more of a mother to me than an elder sister. She always took me along wherever she would go, and I’d follow her like a little lamb. I still remember her taking me for a ride, I was twelve then and her children were 3, 5 and 7 years. I asked her why is she going through so much pain, and her answer was that God was testing her. I felt terrified for that moment, does God want us to suffer and the answer from deep within came out loudly was NO. God does not want us to suffer; He does not want us to be in pain and to get all those weird thought from her head, that what is going on will be right in some time.
“Then what people will say if I leave my husband,” she asked. “Do they feel your pain, your hurt or are they helping you, so why do you want to listen to people anyway”. That day I still remember I on my own would never have the guts to talk like the way I was talking. And I told her that she must leave her husband’s house and she can take care of her children herself, and mom, dad and all the brothers and sisters would help only if she could leave her husband alone. That night she ran away from her husband’s house with two children and the eldest one she left behind, and she joined us at my parents place. Later her eldest son also ran away from his father’s house to live with his mother.
She started living her life all over again. We all contributed towards helping looking after the children and I loved my sister being back at home. She started working as a teacher again and her confidence levels grew as she saw her children growing up in a healthy and safe environment. When she moved out to live in her own house, I too left with her, I loved living with her and I still love to be her little lamb.
Her eldest son expired at a very young age of a heart attack, her beautiful daughter who grew up on borrowed clothes, shoes, books is now working as a hostess for an airline company and the little black sheep who was called, “Kalia” for his dark looks has now grown tall, dark and a very handsome Pilot. Her husband is living with his mother and when there is no one to abuse in the house except his mother. The poor old lady I heard was once pushed off the terrace and he has not been able to change even after so many years of separation, being a famous professor or even his retirement he continues being the same.
Many rounds at the Police Stations would treat her case as a family problem, so they could not do anything much but they did make a lot of fun of these situations. I know of many such woman thinking the cops will be of help and guard them only dig a deeper wound. Many woman victims end up getting more abused than ever and return back with the thought of that a known devil is better than an unknown devil. The nights are not dark any more but more evil. Where does the woman go? Few priests have denounced the facts that they are spiritual counselors end up splashing theirs lusts on the victimized woman. Now the woman has to deal with the so called holy man as well as her husband, father, relative or a close family friend. Woman can sometimes make it even worse than what the man has already made it but treat themselves to another gossip story to boast about. A psychiatrist can list his medical bills and make you a life time patient all for the cause of service to humanity. A marriage councilor is working on the Governmental Statistics for dysfunctional families.
When I went through the same trauma my sister went through, I had already prepared myself never to look for help from these quarters. I relied on my sister or brother for their help but my husband was too smart he almost got them believing in him. I remember singing in all the times when I was being tried by my husband, family and friends, “How Great Thou Art,” and in all the misery from being victimized to being the accused I would sing the song even more profoundly. Even in my darkest moments, I sang more loudly. I would ask the Lord to show me the way, just when I was going to give it all up, my children, my husband and everything, I got signs, messages, and symbols very clearly and boldly “Jesus is the way,” all through the journey to reconcile with my own family.
Today, we are living together, but the heavenly father did not leave us alone, He sent us angels in the form of Pastor Pappu Thilak and Liny his lovely wife to accept Christ as our Savior, and the day we accepted our family life to be led and guided more spiritually. In a very brief period, our families got closer to each other. We hardly got to know them we had to leave for another city and I was happy that the family was together but I had serious hidden fears. The fear of being alone again, my haunting memories, and a falling spirit. And I received another message, “The Lord is my shepherd.” This song kept coming into my head like a stuck record, another prayer meeting an elder was reading the same thing, “The Good Shepherd,” and I did still not understand the message. The other day I opened my mail box and I had an received an email titled, “The Shepherd,” these messages were getting stronger and stronger till I opened the Bible, read Psalm 23, it made me ponder on my own life and a confirmed message like as if He was not just consoling me but convincing me.
A psalm of David.
I asked the Lord for help, to be my guide and there is no better guide than He
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
I asked the Lord to establish a place for me in my family,
And a place to be restful
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters,
When I was fighting a losing battle, He showed me ways that I could walk, the U-turn I took back home in His name made my paths clear.
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I would reach home, my enemies will never spare me, help me to face the people that once made me suffer to cope with them and to give me strength. Lord in my weakness be with me.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
I have no strength to face any more turmoil, or hardships, or suffering, I have had more pain than what I could have, and I can’t take it any more. Lord free me from all the mental stress and agony and set my spirit free
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
When I asked the Lord, “How long I have suffered, will this happiness be short lived?” and as you will read in verse 6.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Surely, we have a truly great God and how great Thou art?
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