Dont use that thumb to twiddle, but use it to save a family. I know that today many women may have woken up to hide the wounds and feelings from domestic violence and abuse without even reporting it. As many as 70 per cent of married women in India between the age of 15 and 49 are victims of beating, rape or coerced sex, the United Nation Population Fund report said. Violence, it said, kills and disables as many women between the ages of 15 and 44 as cancer and its toll on women's health surpasses that of traffic accidents and malaria combined. The consequences of gender-based violence are devastating, including life-long emotional distress, mental health issues and poor reproductive health. Besides, the effect might extend to future generation as children who see violence, or were victims themselves, often suffer a lasting psychological damage, it added.Every woman married or in a relationship must know her spiritual and legal rights. Unfortunately, the act even though is self explanatory is never taught, thought or tried. Not all the cases reported in domestic violence end in divorce or separation but it surely stops unethical behavior and practices. Shielding an abusive family member is like not letting your family doctor know you are Aids positive.
Violence is a type of disease of behavior dysfunction and can be treated spiritually, medically, and even legally. It is also an infectious disease and can spread to those around and in the neighborhood if proper precaution is not taken. The desired result of breaking free from the disease is when the entire household comes under supervision of one God. Very soon a time will come when Doctors instead of recommending regular therapeutic course will recommend God.
Why God?
A survey conducted by American Academy of Family Physicians in 1996 had shown that 99% doctors were convinced that strong religious beliefs could help in healing patients. Also, the 37th World Health Assembly had adopted a resolution that the spiritual dimension should be added to scope of health. During the 58th World Health Assembly at the United Nations in Geneva in May 2005, the growing realization had necessitated a panel discussion and several reviews on ‘Spirituality, Religion, and Health.’
When I got into a relationship I chose not to be a victim like my sister, I overcame many circumstances and hurdles because of my strong faith in God and was able to restore a peaceful and harmonious relationship with my husband for almost twenty years. He is like any other man would like to show off his physical strength, ego has never been able to raise even a finger at me even though he also has a severe behavioral problem. A leading psychologist who has written many articles in the news papers would have ruined my marriage and suggested separation, but I had a leading God, a God that led me with knowledge and wisdom to govern my family, neighbors and friends.
Title : THE PROTECTION OF WOMEN FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT, 2005
CHAPTER II
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
3. Definition of domestic violence.
3. Definition of domestic violence.-For the purposes of this Act, any act, omission or commission or conduct of the respondent shall constitute domestic violence in case it -(a) harms or injures or endangers the health, safety, life, limb or well-being, whether mental or physical, of the aggrieved person or tends to do so and includes causing physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal and emotional abuse and economic abuse; or(b) harasses, harms, injures or endangers the aggrieved person with a view to coerce her or any other person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any dowry or other property or valuable security; or(c) has the effect of threatening the aggrieved person or any person related to her by any conduct mentioned in clause (a) or clause (b); or(d) otherwise injures or causes harm, whether physical or mental, to the aggrieved person.
Explanation I.-For the purposes of this section,-(i) "physical abuse" means any act or conduct which is of such a nature as to cause bodily pain, harm, or danger to life, limb, or health or impair the health or development of the aggrieved person and includes assault, criminal intimidation and criminal force;(ii) "sexual abuse" includes any conduct of a sexual nature that abuses, humiliates, degrades or otherwise violates the dignity of woman;(iii) "verbal and emotional abuse" includes-(a) insults, ridicule, humiliation, name calling and insults or ridicule specially with regard to not having a child or a male child; and(b) repeated threats to cause physical pain to any person in whom the aggrieved person is interested.(iv) "economic abuse" includes-(a) deprivation of all or any economic or financial resources to which the aggrieved person is entitled under any law or custom whether payable under an order of a court or otherwise or which the aggrieved person requires out of necessity including, but not limited to, household necessities for the aggrieved person and her children, if any, stridhan, property, jointly or separately owned by the aggrieved person, payment of rental related to the shared household and maintenance;(b) disposal of household effects, any alienation of assets whether movable or immovable, valuables, shares, securities, bonds and the like or other property in which the aggrieved person has an interest or is entitled to use by virtue of the domestic relationship or which may be reasonably required by the aggrieved person or her children or her stridhan or any other property jointly or separately held by the aggrieved person; and(c) prohibition or restriction to continued access to resources or facilities which the aggrieved person is entitled to use or enjoy by virtue of the domestic relationship including access to the shared household.Explanation II.-For the purpose of determining whether any act, omission, commission or conduct of the respondent constitutes "domestic violence" under this section, the overall facts and circumstances of the case shall be taken into consideration.
Last updated date on 01.02.2008Reasons for Domestic Violence The reasons include neglecting children, going out without telling partner, arguing with partner, refusing to have sex, not preparing food properly or on time and talking with other men, it said.
My sister aged 60 now, came to terms of just speaking about being a domestic violence victim almost after fifteen years of her married life. The first five years she lied to everybody about her wounds. The next ten years her three children became witnesses to her being regularly abused.
Why don’t most women report domestic violence? Fear that the problem may get worse. Fear about the children. Fear of the social respect. Fear of financial security. Fear of job security. Fear of spiritual warfare.
My sister’s filed for separation from her husband, since divorce was not granted in the Catholic Church after fifteen years of living nightmares. She had all the fears of the unknown and even when it came to the God she trusted, every night was a miracle to see her alive. Neighbors would act ignorant, Church believed God would help, Elders advised her to become stronger, nobody could understand her pain of being bitten and battered by a cricket bat.
Why should women report domestic violence?
A regular offender or even a hardened criminal will always bow down to men in uniform. If you have been lawfully married it is only the law that can save and protect you from domestic violence, counseling may help, and spirituality will make you stronger to be in the right position. The difference between me and my sister is she had the strength to hold on to the law and I had the strength to act on the law. May be that is one of the prime reasons for me not becoming a victim of domestic violence. The day my sister could act according to the law, she had to fight for her rights. She got the custody of two children, though she brought them up on a tight budget, rented apartment and other people’s clothes, while she worked as a teacher. Her daughter joined an airline company and brought my sister a three bed room apartment before her retirement age. Her son joined the merchant navy and now he is a pilot. Both the son and the daughter are enjoying the fruits of their labour. The son whom she could not get custody of because of her economic condition died at the age of twenty four on his mother’s lap with a serious heart attack and a victim of psychological damage.
Do children get affected?
Yes, all children get affected in Domestic Violence cases. All my sister’s children grew up hating their father. The one she could not get custody of was eventually the next victim of domestic violence. He grew up in an environment that made him emotionally disabled. Though he was such a lovable person, his character made people hate him. He had few friends and would get emotionally attached to anything. He would get violent if he would not have his way. Being very intelligent he could not complete his education. He developed an inferiority complex and tried to mask it with his physical dominance.
Some go through the trauma every night, neighbors may shut their windows and doors, switch on to a daily soap saga and pretend as if nothing is happening. The women of tomorrow smile as if nothing hurts. The elders talk about bearing it all up for the sake of the children. The entire system is in a comatose condition mentally alive and physically dead.
Thinking God will help does work, and God helps in giving us an opportunity, the strength and the wisdom not just to meditate on the laws day and night but to fight the enemy. The truth is really scary in the night for more than 70% of women from the age of 14-40 plus if they have ignored the law. When I was overstaying at the YWCA, I met a lady who was working incognito so that her husband would not harass her, even just being at the helm of a reputed association that has worked many years for various causes on women issues, she was still scared of her husband. Her only problem was that she did not want to take Police protection fearing that he might lose his job. For fifteen years of my service in the industry I haven’t still come across a case where a man lost his job because of domestic violence.
How to cope with domestic violence biblically?
God will bless us and God will bless those who along the way have put an end to domestic violence. Instead of witnessing domestic violence become a testimony by putting an end to violent ways. This is the day to rejoice in the Lord! It always blesses us to hear from those who have been touched and encouraged by this ministry.
It is our prayer that God's perfect will be done with you and in your loved ones' lives according to His Word and we are praying for your protection. The Bible declares in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."
God delights in giving His children the desires of their hearts when we seek Him in Spirit and in Truth. God gave us all power and all authority over the devil. Luke 10:19 says, "Behold, I give you authority to trample on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm you."
Zechariah 2:8b states "... for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of His eye."
We must use the Word of God to overcome the enemy. It is a not a spiritual battle against God but against the enemy. The word of God is not to be kept it on the alter but it is a living word of God that has the power to move mountains in His name.
Ephesians 6
The Armor of God
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
In addition, it is also wise to seek the assistance of your local law enforcement if in fact a crime is being committed against you or your loved ones. It is against Gods’ law to suffer at the hands of men with evil approach but we have His everlasting blessings and covenant to rise and shine without letting the enemy triumph.
We are believing for God's peace and blessings to carry you and your loved ones safely through the storms of life. (Luke 8:22-24)
Psalm 67 says
1 May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, Selah
2 that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.
3 May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.
4 May the nations be glad and sing for joy, for you rule the peoples justly and guide the nations of the earth. Selah
5 May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.
6 Then the land will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will bless us.
7 God will bless us, and all the ends of the earth will fear him.
May the Glory of Heaven, resonating from the Gospel of Jesus, remain upon you always!
Stop twiddling with the word of God but go ahead and use that thumb to save a family!!!!
