THE ROAD TO ALWAR

Caption: HUGS ARE MEANT FOR TWO
Hymn: Lord I’m coming home

Reference: Mark 5:34

Importance: Healing Relationships

Story: Finding the way

Testimony: Roman Protestant

GOOD NEWS
Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

The day I discovered my husband's racing habit, I gave up visiting the Church. My husband would spend our time, money and energy on a Cole book. My husband knew everything about horses, the Cole book was like his Bible, he never left it, every time he lost everything he would stand more convincing for his next victory.
Gurgaon may be as much as a blessing to some, known for its shortage of electricity, water, humanity and ofcourse no racecourse. It was an ideal dumping ground where I could dump my husband or dump his racing habit. It was a place I was mentally preparing my own sacrificial alter to slay him down.

I remember all the Saturdays, when families planned time with bonding, preparing for Sundays or planning for the future. He would plan for the Derby like a surprise honeymoon he has never taken me to. There were times I would give him all the money I had thinking he would lose everything and that would be the end of all our troubles. It never ended my troubles but only increased them. Our way of life were race driven, if he won we could pay the pending bills. He never knew the importance of vaccinating children at relevant times, he only knew about the weight and height of horses and jockeys and making his favorite list. The lies all elders tell us that once you have children of your own fathers mend their ways. Two beautifully gifted children and that horrible bit of advice never mended his gambling nature. I lived in this hell miserably for almost two decades.
One night after a few weeks in Gurgaon, I was on spiritual suspension trip. I rejected God, I was so fully justified with his non existence that I started saying Jesus I hate you, I must have said it about a million times every moment that was passing me by. Due to constant praying and meditation, it was very difficult for me to say it because sometime I would begin to say the “Our Father” subconsciously. So I would have to start saying Jesus I hate you all over again. The next morning my husband receives a call for an interview. He still thinks that I am Mother Theresa, he does not know I had rejected God. Unable to confront me with spiritual requests, he asks my daughter to pray for him. I heard that man talking for the first time about prayer. I objected to any kind of prayer, telling him that even if God knocks on that door he would never recognize him. Just then the door bell rang, a smiling Pastor greets with saying, “Praise the Lord.”

Praise the Lord, I am rejecting you for reasons unknown, but every time you call me I will be there. Soon there was going to be a conference in Alwar and Liny, Pastor Thilak's wife convinced me that it would be a great break from the regular routine. She had hardly any idea that my regular routine was so filled with miseries that I wanted to break free from everything. This seemed to be my best escape route to freedom. I, me and my children were to leave never to return back to Gurgaon, never let any body know where we were heading. All the known places for my husband to find our whereabouts were written off I was planning for some place unknown to anybody. I had packed all wash and wear dresses, I boarded the train to Alwar to check my children’s comfort zone in passenger trains, to my surprise they loved it. Now I can get lost any where without the kids throwing a tantrum and no body would find us.

Once at Alwar, we met Pastor Thilak and his family who drove down. They got us a special room, our day would begin with breakfast, a brief prayer, fast forwarded testimonies, and doctrines about standing firm supported by the scriptures by well educated speakers. Liny was asked to take care of the Children’s camp and for some reason rejected it publicly. She was with me all the time, marking verses in my Bible, she talking to me the meanings of certain things I did not understand. She was so immersed talking God to me she had no idea about my plans. She introduced me to everybody she knew, many saw us together thought that I was her daughter. One of the people she introduced me to was Dr Silas C Nair. After hearing him talk so much about the scriptures, I wanted him to know the realities that I was going through. Secretly take his blessings and runaway forever.

Dr Silas C Nair did not open any Bible as I cried my pains orally to him, he never convinced me about anything Biblically speaking. All he did was share his testimony about his early life which was very similar to my husband’s current way of living. He prayed over me, as if he was talking to God on his cell phone. Once the prayer call was over he turned to me like he was about to hand over a prescription of my daily dose. I still remember the twinkle in his eyes, telling me to forgive my husband like child, and when I return to give my husband a big, big, hug. I secretly in my mind said to myself that I would give my husband that hug if I met him in heaven.

The Believer’s party was over, we all had our bags packed, I was ready for my journey to freedom. Liny comes looking for me and tells me that we are leaving with them in their car. My entire planning was squashed that very moment. I did not want to return. The kids were already making noise in the car, happy to go home. Since I was so sure about my plans to get back into the train I had no back up plans as Pastor Thilak and Liny were now going to leave me and my kids right in front of the door of my house, a place where I never wanted to return.

On arrival back to square one, Pastor Thilak honked my husband out of the door to announce our safe and sound journey. Once inside at home the kids instead of searching for the remote control to put on their favorite channel were talking to their dad about the sweet meats they brought for them, they seem to be in full control of their situation. I was full of remorse and had nothing to give him that day. I remembered Dr Silas C Nair words to give him a hug, thinking that a small little hug won’t change my mind, I gave it. Believe it or not a small little hug changed my life. My husband is the head of the family, my son is the man of the house, my daughter is the head of our home ministry and me all I do is BLOG (BLESSED is the LORD, OUR GOD) all the time.
It's prayer time folks, Heavenly father, we worship you, we give you thanks for your glory, all honor is yours Almighty Father, I have seen your wonderous ways of taking care of me through Pastor Thilak, his wife Liny and Dr Silas C Nair there are many to be saved and the workers are few, we need the manna for saving our souls. Lord let your blessings reign on them and abundantly flow into the garden of etenity to all who seek thy kingdom first, forever and ever Amen.

THE DOUBLE PORTION

Caption: THE DOUBLE PORTION
Hymn: What a friend I have in Jesus
Reference: Isaiah 1: 18
Importance: God’s Gift
Story: Painless Deliverance
Testimony: Roman Protestant

GOOD NEWS
“Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord
“Though your sins are like scarlet”
They shall be white as snow;
Though they are red as crimson,
They shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:18.

When I knew I had conceived I was given an open invitation by TATA AIG, to head its Marketing Division at a ransom I could ever ask for. This was the moment of truth for me, a reward of God’ blessing for all the trials and temptations a woman has to undergo in the Corporate arena. Being a socially challenged atmosphere, I would give my best shot opposing Americanism, globalization, and substituting them for Indianism and localization. Then head back home with a couple of cigarette packets and a bottle of rum to let go the frustration of the day. This drunkenness would help me get a sound sleep, instead of dreaming about my tasks all through the night. By now I was addicted to this routine as well as pregnant. The two choices glaring in front of me to accept or to reject, to accept the offer of appointment meant to reject God’s gift. To accept God’s gift and to reject smoking and drinking. That day I brought a bigger bottle than usual, doubled the cigarette packets, sat alone in my room conversing with the Holy Spirit. In all that drunken jargon, I opened up my books of testimonies from my heart and justified all my situations, I promised to offer God my first born.

The next morning I made up my mind that I was not going to let my career graph affect my biological clock. I was going ahead with the pregnancy secretly, because if any of my friends, family or even my husband visited my doctor, the consequences would have been ultimately to go in for abortion without doubt or else frighten me with the consequences of addiction which I had planned to give up. I tried giving up my addiction every day. I’d look at the Bible that was gifted by my Uncle, talk to it but never open it. I was very shy of reading the Bible because it showed me a lot of adultery happening in the Holy book but knew it contained the word of God. I would pour out the spirit into the glass, drink it like as if it was the last one, it was obviously more potent than all the others. The increase on my waistline was getting more and more conspicuous, my husband’s first thought was to abort, and then the next thought was to see what happens. His thoughts never impacted me because I always thought that he was careless and I was carefree.

As the days went fleeting by so did the numbers of last pegs. I was now closing in to my final round from the monthly check-ups to the weekly checks-up. The heat was on, I took the Bible by the cover and burnt it as I could not kick out any of my habit. While doing so I also blew the final whistle on God telling him that I am burning the book and that if He chooses me He shall gift it to me again. Not just a habitual drinker I was, I used to habitually keep saying the, “Our Father.” Over the hundred times I prayed in my mind and even if I didn’t, subconsciously it would keep running into my head. I was finally checked into the maternity ward. I brought myself a room so that I could drink and smoke when the Doctor was not on her rounds. Instead of asking my husband to get something for the new born, I asked my husband to get some incense sticks to cover up the smoking in the room.

My gynaec was a very able, experienced and a Christian Adventist doctor. The next room was occupied by ladies I got to know from the past few months of regular visits. There was a lot of confusion going on in the Maternity wards some women were crying and wailing, most of the ladies going in for C-section and I was sipping into my Old Monk. It was close to 11:00 pm the Doctor I was hoping was doing her final round so I could drink and sleep. I sipped my last drink and as I sat on the bed, I thought I sat on some water I must have mindless dropped while going to the loo. I stood up to check it out and I was dripping and soaking wet. That was it, all that I had imagined the screaming, wailing the pain and the blood was about to happen to me. People all over would meet me and tell me what their grandmothers must have told them that once you see the baby you will forget all the pain. I remember telling the Doctor that I have seen too much pain in my life and I can bear any more happening to me. By now she knew the tantrum I would throw at just seeing the injection, I would scream like as if I delivered an elephant. I would joke with her saying that I shall pay only for a painless delivery. As I was being wheeled into the labor room, I felt as if I was in my coffin and people around me were taking me to the grave. In these few moments I could remember all the things I was sorry and thankful for and if I had some more time I would do it personally before the gates closed on me.

Once the doors were shut, the operation theater looked like heaven, fumigated, spic and span. The attendants who received me in looked like masked angels; my Doctor looked like the Archangel and my husband looked like the angel who was going to fight my cause somewhere up there. I shut my eyes and hoping I was dreaming and out came the baby boy it was exactly 12:00 midnight. I still remember the light surrounding the two of them as she handed me the baby boy, it was so magnificent that none of the special effects could ever be created by man. The delivery process was absolutely natural, absolutely painless, and absolutely glorified. The baby boy free by all defects and healthy by all medical standards.

On my way back to my room they crossed my stretcher through children’s ward, for some reason that moment did not pass, it stood still. I saw a room full of babies in incubators, many of them on drips of saline and blood. Their hands and feet strapped with needles as big as their veins, tubes from the nose going into nowhere. Some of nurses were drawing blood and others were injecting the helpless bodies. Tiny heads being bandaged by nurses who ears are plugged as the babies crying painfully. Anxious parents lined outside the ward many of theirs heads drooping in tiredness, some talking in hushed voices about a baby who did not make it. A nurse handing out a lifeless bundle of momentary joy into the arms of mourning parents for the final rites.

As I slipped into a deep slumber with my gift, I remembered all the thirty five Christmas nights where many slept with Santa Claus putting something into the stocking or under the bed, but I had none. Tonight I have received the most beautiful gift of my life, all wrapped up, all real, Santa Claus was out of my mind and I was filled with the heavenly presence of God our father. Soon early morning all those who knew came, saw and left. My sister and my niece too came down to see the baby, and she came prepared with a name. I was to call my son Kabir and it sounded pretty cool than the one I had thought of. My mother-in-law suggested the name Shayan, if she had just added that motherly bit into my life; probably I would choose to name him so. Soon I paid in plastic the entire hospital bills in full and also paid in cash for the duster, cleaner, sweeper, and many people I did not see at all. I was glad to go back home.

Back home my hot seat wired to the desktop, internet, clients, and my laptop was my son. In my free time I would do research on various subjects but curiously wanted to know the meanings Kabir and Shayan. I googled my way typing the word Kabir and it meant magnificent or great, and when I keyed in the name Shayan meaning deserving or worthy. So we decided go public with this name Kabir. In all this I can just imagine a neatly packed parcel labeled from the sender who is Almighty to me a mindless drunken monk who had more alcohol in my body than blood, well delivered! Three cheers, to getting high on my gift, my alcohol bottles were replaced by milk bottles from the moment I received my gift. I was alcohol free, no urges, no cravings, no shivering, and no withdrawal symptoms, I just did not feel like drinking any more.

Kabir is now five going on six, his wisdom is much too much for the size of brains. He surely does not like sitting in for all the prayer meetings, but he is the first to love and serve everybody. He has mastered the art of living, loving and teaching his father. He calls himself the man of the house and makes sure he takes care of all the mess he has created. The only word he can read from the Bible is God, and in seeking the word God he has flipped all the pages of the Bible from Genesis to Revelations innumerable times. He right now sitting on my lap as I am rhythmically keying in all the words, he is reading out each and every alphabet. He is also knows the meaning of blogging. Since he does many things by himself and does not need to cling to me always. I spend time with the Bible which I was gifted and autographed by Liny Pappu on the 5th September 2008, exactly five years after I had burnt the first book. Kabir was born on the 24th September 2003. By the way on that day I recieved not just one Bible but two Bibles, the other one was autographed by Pastor Pappu for my husband, a DOUBLE PORTION from the Lord.

IOU (A PROMISSORY PRAYER)
Lord, I promise you right now that I bring into my life the word of God back; from now on the word of God will be my priority. In my thoughts words and deeds, I shall bring forth the word of God and spread the good news to all whom I come across. Lord I come into an agreement that from now on the good news will be a practicing priority, the word of God will be the heart of our lives in thinking, living and giving. We pray that your power will rest on us mightily by the rewards of salvation and work on our strength on earth as it is in heaven. Lord we remember your first blessing to mankind, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Lord bless us too mightily, bless our homes and fill it with salvation. Bless our children with salvation and protection. With your blood shed for our salvation and with your grace we shall prosper in what you have given us. We believe in your promise to seek kingdom of God first and all is planned will be added to us, Lord do not forsake us, but forgive us so that we may receive the abundance of your promise and live to fulfill the promise we make to you today. I ask this in the name of the Lord. Amen